what i can't have

i want those things
that i cannot have
because of how i was born

i do not care if you think

"you're luckier than me"

am i?

my body reminds me
that i am not like you
that i have to mold myself
and you did not have to

my body planned something
and i did not know
how to stop it

disenfranchised grief

is my only birthright

feeling stuck in the middle
between the blueprint he followed
and the blueprint i desire

unable to even say
what i wish
because it is impossible

because i cannot

support life within myself