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stubble

i can change everything
from my neck down
from my lip up
past my sideburns

but the shadow
the coarse itch in my cheeks
has not budged

it feels like
the biggest barrier
to shapeshifting

it costs me so much
in time and blood
in concealer

in wondering if my mask
covers the shadow
if everything else is enough
for them to see me

in asking if i dislike stubble
because it is male-coded
or if i actually dislike it
because i dislike it

i let the shadow
sit on my face for so long
that when it's gone
that's all i see