roadblocks

you seem off

you have since january

i know i do
i know i am
and i am sorry for that

i don't know why

and i'm scared to ask

is she fake
and my brain is saying
"you are not her"

is she real
but not in this world
a dream i can never be

why am i
trying to save me
from something i want

or is this something else

is this a good thing

am i beginning
to feel the things
he cannot

and he never learned
how to feel things
so he is scared

is it better to pause
is it better to take stock
or to chase the ache in my soul