girl, revisited

girl, in the sense of "lol, look at these coder boys I'm running circles around"

girl, but only to be a lesbian

girl who sees no need to perform that fact

girl who only wants boobs to make clothes fit better and for people to lay on

girl who considers it strictly nicer to be legible to the State and straights as one but otherwise doesn't care

girl, as in "tired girl"

girl, as in "clever girl"

girl, for social purposes

lesbian because it feels so much more right than "straight man" ever was

transsexual because that's what I've done and I have no plans to stop

lesbian because I didn't think it was possible for so long

lesbian because I define my validity and my labels and it suits me right now

nonbinary as in "you can't encode my experience with a single bit"

nonbinary as in "I spent long enough breaking out of this box; I won't get in another"

transgender as in mom friend with the dad jokes and the ramble-y advice and the random accumulation of skills that she thought would make it make sense

lesbian as in holy shit, I wore a flannel to Home Depot yesterday in a way I said I would one day and it made me so fucking happy because that day is here and there are going to be so many of those days in the future that it makes me tear up with excitement just thinking about it

transsexual as in my body has changed so much since last October that it's the only word that feels accurate because I am not just a different gender than everyone thought I was, I make biology work for me instead of against me

me, as in I exist and see that I want to plan a future which isn't just "go with the flow" or dependent on another person's presence