a thousand cuts

it always hurts

when you mess up

habits are hard to break
when you do not think
that it can hurt that much

but if you say

"i slipped up"

then you are saying
you do not see me
as myself

that you still see the facade
you thought was me
but you are being nice
so as to not offend

you think i am the facade
and what you used to see
is still behind the curtain

when you slip up

you tell me

you preferred it

when i lied to you

when you slip up
i know in your eyes
i am not real